A Lesson in Clarity

A reminder that not everything deserves your attention (and a personal update)

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The word priority comes from the Latin word prior, meaning first. For centuries, the word was used only in the singular. It wasn’t until the 20th century that we started talking about priorities in the plural which is oxymoronic and incongruous since the word was intended to be singular.

A few months ago, my youngest daughter Emilie came home from school with a virus that took us all down for a week or so. As the rest of us started to feel better, Emilie started getting worse. She was admitted to the hospital for mysterious and debilitating pain, starting in her abdomen, then vibrating through her chest and shoulder. It was the kind of pain where she couldn’t sit or stand or or eat or rest for days. After a full week in the hospital, and a battery of tests, scans, and ultrasounds, a mass was discovered on her lung. It was the kind of moment where everything stops, and whether you are deeply religious or not (I’m not), you start praying.

It’s in moments like these that the noise of life fades. You realize how easy it is to get caught up in the non-essential—to-do lists, social plans, work commitments, even personal ambitions—but when life forces you to see what truly matters, the unnecessary things drop away. Despite the fear I felt, I also experienced a sense of calm and certainty. I knew exactly where I needed to be, what I needed to do, and what I could let go of. Everything that wasn’t essential—every task, every invitation—was easily dismissed, without guilt or second thought.

The mass on Emilie’s lung was later diagnosed as a sequestration—a rare but benign “third lung” that needs to be surgically removed to prevent infection and further complications. It is the best-case scenario, but also a constant weight on my heart. As I write this, Em is healing from pneumonia, and we are preparing for her big surgery next week. I often catch myself forgetting to breathe.

There is nowhere I would rather be, and nothing else I would rather do, than be with Emilie through this surgery and recovery - even if it means sleeping on the rock hard sliver of a bench in her hospital room (seriously, why no beds for family members, hospital??). Work deadlines, social engagements, and even my upcoming book launch have taken a backseat.

I share this very personal story because the lesson has been profound. When you clarify what’s most important, it becomes easy to let go of anything non-essential. Decision-making has become a breeze. Time allocation is simple. It feels remarkably easy to turn down plans.

You don’t need to be in a crisis to experience this clarity—anyone can find it by taking a moment to pause, reflect and focus.

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Finding Your Clarity

Take a moment to ask yourself: What truly matters to me? Is it your health? Your family? Your career? Your faith? What is the one thing you value most? If you were forced to choose, what would you prioritize, and what would you let go of?

Actionable Next Steps:

Step One: Write down a list of the things that matter most to you. Then, rank them in order of importance. Remember, when everything is a priority, nothing actually is.

Step Two: Identify areas of your life where you feel overwhelmed or distracted. Where are you overcommitted? What can you let go of to create more space for what truly matters? Where do you want to invest your time and energy, and what can you divest from?

This practice of clarifying what you value most (and what you can let go of) can bring profound ease and peace to your life—helping you stay focused on what really matters, even in the midst of life’s many unexpected challenges and surprises. Let’s practice simplifying together.

I’ll be back with you in a few weeks to return to our regularly scheduled programming. Thanks in advance for sending positive thoughts and prayers out into the world for our sweet Emilie. They are very welcome. x

Join the Book Launch: Tickets are available to join my San Francisco Bay Area book launch party hosted by Erica Tanov. Join us for welcome bites, a discussion and Q/A, sips from Sophie James wine, holiday shopping, and good times for all. Tickets here.

Podcast Feature: I was thrilled to come back to the 20-Minutes with Bronwyn podcast, to talk about how to overcome overwhelm and live in greater alignment. Listen here.

Re-reading: Oliver Burkeman’s NYT bestselling anti-productivity book Four Thousand Weeks. Linked here.

Can’t Wait to Read: Dr Martha Beck’s new book on anxiety, creativity, and curiosity. Linked Here.

No New Things Challenge Wins: This month instead of shopping, I’ve been returning things ($197 credited back), selling a handful of higher ticket items I didn’t need ($325 earned), repairing things (like my favorite dress that got caught on a door jam and ripped), and unsubscribing from sales and marketing emails five minutes at a time. I’ve also unfollowed some social media influencers from my feed who consistently promote consumption. Later! How’s the challenge going for you? Share your small wins in the chat!

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